Byzee

Unlike everybody else in our Kitty family, our second honorary piggy kitty came from a pet store. While buying animals from pet stores is against my principles, this little one was a thoughtful gift to my sister — and soon, the Kitties realized that Byzee's origin story was just like theirs. After all, everyone's just looking for a place to be loved.

Like one of his heroes, Gil from Finding Nemo, Byzee spent his early days planning his escape from the guinea pig pen in which he and so many others were placed. He knew he was destined for something better.

My sister’s officemates picked Byzee out and gave him to her after she fell so in love with Carmella, the OG guinea piggy honorary Kitty who served as a school class mascot before retiring to her home. At first, everyone thought Byzee was another girl but apologized to him as soon as the mistake was realized — to which he replied, "Hey, whatever, man. We're all the same on the inside." Byzee may be small, but he has big ideas.

Byzee is named after two legendary beings, the Star Wars saga's Baby Yoda and Avatar's extraordinary fire bender Zuko. He keeps busy — always on alert, practicing old and new hobbies, and itching to run the growing obstacle course in his new home. Byzee’s eyes are different colors — one is blue and one is brown. He and The Mother Kitty discuss their shared unique feature endlessly, including their mutual admiration for David Bowie, with his legendary eyes and talents.

Like him, Byzee is a wild rock star. Since he moved into my sister’s house, he’s let his hair grow out like Jerry Garcia. He’s wanted to be be in a band ever since he saw School of Rock, and he practices all sort of instruments. So far, he likes keyboards and drums the best. Most of his favorite musicians play classic rock – The Doors, Cream, The Grateful Dead, ELO, and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. But Byzee's got soul too. He grooves to Funkadelic, Al Green, Stevie Wonder, and Chuck Berry. He surprises us all whenever he sings along to newer music, from the likes of Taylor Swift and Alicia Keys, but I guess we shouldn't be: He's always up with the times and trends, exploring the latest things.

Byzee doesn't watch much TV, unless I makes him sit still for a movie that provides life lessons, but he loves a goofy comedy. His favorite films include Young Frankenstein, Johnny Dangerously, Elf, and any of the Cohen Brothers movies. Last night, we watched City Lights, so now Comet (our resident silent movie expert) is telling him all about Charlie Chaplin.

But Byzee is more of a hands-on kind of piggy. He would rather spend his time outside in the wilderness, but his fancy condo is the next best thing. He dreams of remodeling it into the guinea pig mansion of his dreams (see his latest fantasy model below).

It's a work in progress, and his new home offers plenty to do and places to run as it is. Most important, there are places to hide and spy: Byzee is always on the look out for his nemesis Stephen. Don't worry – he's okay with it now that he knows Stephen is everyone's nemesis and, also, Stephen's brain is about the same size as his.

Like Carmella, Byzee likes to chill with a good book and fresh food, including his favorites, bananas, parsley, and pepper plant leaves. Right now, he’s reading The Daily Show (The Book) by Chis Smith, and he just asked who Stephen Colbert is. Byzee's still got a lot to learn, but he's getting there fast.